Monday 15 November 2010
An Open Letter to Greg James and the BBC
I hope you don't mind, but there is something that drastically needs to be pointed out. It is the 15th of November. The 15th of November!! Please Greg, tell me why are Christmas songs being played on the 15th of November? A few moments ago, the super extra bonus tones of Mariah Carey bellowed outward and shattered a pained silence and something very tragic happened.
People jigged. Some began to shake and bobble with vague amounts of rhythm - albeit lightly, with minor hip and head placements. Yet the signs were clear and obvious. People were beginning to smile… even if it was only polite.
Is there to be no respite from this merry hell? Soon people will be expected to smile and be joyous - but in November, that's not possible. It’s far too dour a month for good things to happen to common folk. If the populous become happy prior to December 1st, faces across the country could be broken forever!! The damage done to the NHS coffers in order to cure these shattered frowns may be irreparable.
If you do not halt this unseasonal jolliness, you may have eternal happiness on your conscience - I only hope you can live with that...